TIRED OF THE BALDWIN BROTHERS

Another sweet missive from a robot. (click to read)

Yeah! Junkmail rules!

DIGGING HURTS

After two determined days of digging (in sessions a week apart to help heal all injuries) the garden plot is looking real nice. It's easily double what I used to have. Thanks to the old lady and our Cuban mercenary, the plot took half the time it woulda all by my lonesome. There's still lots of roots and crap to sort out, but the majority of the heavy lifting is behind me. Due to the lack of bloodthirsty bastard mosquitoes, this garden should be less scary to tend too. Now to figure out what to plant and stuff.

First one to send me a Garden Yeti wins a framed, autographed photo of yous truly in a saucy dress.

NOW I KNOW WHAT ALARM LOOKS LIKE. I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH A WHOOP THOUGH.

Found this helpful, yellowed instruction sheet on a hotel door.

WE'RE SORRY SIR, THERE ARE FIVE OTHERS

OK, fine, I'll take Frodo 6.

ASSHAT TAKES TO THE RING!

A simple yet enduring pleasure, the joy of custom names in old 8-bit games.

A THIN CRUST APPLE II PIZZA PLEASE - TO GO

With extra Oregon Trail.

FAMICLONE DEATHZONE

Ma' fuckin' Super Megason yo. Personal fight and laser blatin' "New" gun guaranteed!

I've been looking at various famiclone systems online. What's that you ask? Basically the guts of a Nintendo or Sega or whatever are slapped onto a chip then jammed into the nearest oddly shaped piece of plastic fail you have lying around. It's then sold for 10 dollars, renamed some berzerk shit using as many "supers" as possible, and plastered with barely related imagery to catch your eye. You know, the weird more than likely foreign based super systems loaded with 70 games that you see at crazy flea markets and dollar stores. Some of them are straight up amazing. Here's but a few to gander upon. Check a full list of known clones here if you're so inclined. Waste some time and dig up some gems.

Oh yes, obviously this is the one I really want.
Check the shape and 4 button hotness controller.

You'll find a definite footie theme going on with some of these.
But this one is going to far.

Gold Leopard King comes with melty controllers and Laser Tag approved gun.

Hey, Simba's Strider sounds like Spider. Spider...hmmm...Spiderman! PRINT IT!

Mortal soccer in space above the deadly holo-planet. Note: Super action set is good, not great.

BITZ-N-SCAMMIN'

One of the more amusing (at least to me and other scam-n-flip on eBay folks) aspects of this dork event called Acon is the late night "bits trade". Basically everyone empties out their closet of unwanted junk and tries to either trade for new junk or just straight sell the shit. They take over any empty table space, corner and hallway to create an insane-o gamer fleamarket.

It springs up out of nowhere and throngs of nerds clamor for the best bargain. The haggling is often quite amusing, though it can get dickish pretty quick with the wrong folks. It's a big live action eBay grab fest, but themed to carry some of my favorite dorky models n' things.

The original spirit is still there, though some take it a bit far and essentially open mini-stores. Going so far as to buy big lots from one dude, then walking 10 feet to a new table and selling it at a mark up. All's fair I suppose.

Personally, I love fleamarkets and stuff like this. The sad giddy thrill of overturning some crap pile and unearthing some gem from years past. So I wander about and hope to maybe find a Rogue Trader era Ork in power armor or maybe some goofy ass miniature from when I was younger. And of course the odd rare/valuable bit of lead that can help fund the trip in the first place...

I've one guaranteed compatriot in this venture at this specific convention. He's the Chicago version of myself, down to the name even. Though he is way more vested in this grab and sell adventure than me. And quite good at it too. But, it's always nice to get a call from Chi Ty sayin' there's some ancient stuff I just gots ta check out on the other side of the hall.

So, the end of this long winded missive (phone blog capability is dangerous stuff) is to simply point out that I scored some totally sweet old ass style epic scale Orks, Chaos, and Imperial Titan heads and weapons. Yeah!

- Acon 2011 fun blog edition.

RANDOM DULL TABLE SHOTS AND BORING GAME COMMENTARY

I generally go to Acon to hang out with old pals, be a giant nerd, and play in a Lord of the Rings tournament. As you can see from the grainy photo above, it's blistering excitement. My first day started out great with a super nice dude who was pleasant and fun to roll dice against. He made a few mistakes, but mostly I had some hot dice and a wicked Nazgul chewing dudes up like candy. I was off and running to a fine beginning.

Which soon ended! Next some dude's Fiefdom army pert much crushed my poor little mans. Shot above shows the high hopes my army had for 10 minutes or so. The guy eventually won the event, so at least there's that. The scenario had the worst extra rule bit out of all the rules bits in all the scenarios ever written for this game. A frustrating little 4+ die roll that seems just plain impossible to make. It was out if my reach for sure. And it just went bad after that... Getting slaughtered isn't the funnest thing, but the dice straight abandoned me during this game. I settled in and laughed off the fact that 2 models made it out alive. Such is life!

The next game was a bit more fun and challenging. The kid was unassuming and quiet. Had to laugh when he asked what classes I was taking now. So I asked how old he thought I was, and to keep in mind that I'm old. He pegged me at 23. Har. I'm agin' pretty well playing this Peter Pan bullshit.

But the kid was a straight math killer. And a pilot of some sort, so I guess it makes sense. Dude had his army dialed, the total opposite of my situation given that it was the 3rd time I had ever used my force. It was super fun and light hearted. I even threw in quick lightning round turn at the end so he could get the victory he deserved, even though I coulda called it a game and taken the points. Just a good time had there.

In the end I picked up the one nerdy thing I desired most at this and all such events. Best army. (upside down photo courtesy of exhaustion.) Sure it's not the toughest award to collect in this smaller field of competitors, but I certainly put some effort into earning it. My twisted, humped back stands as proof to the hours I spent in pursuit of this sad sad accolade. Sadly it looks like picking this up on Friday went against winning the same award for the team tournament the next day. Anyway, it was a full 10 hour gaming day preceded by a tiring, restless evening - at the end of this sucker I was pretty drained.

Lucky I had a super sexy manly man to relax with, talk gossip, and trade secrets with later that evening.

- Acon 2011 fun blog edition.

SHOWER FOR FOUR

More ridiculous? Two shower heads as well.

- Acon 2011 fun blog edition.