Thursday, December 30, 2010

PRE-SNOW DOUCHERY or WELCOME TO MASSSACHUDCHEETTEEES

The very definition of a MASShole.
And this one isn't even in motion.

CHECKLIST ACTIVATE!

1. Parked under a red light.
2. Blocking traffic from two directions.
3. Headlights off.
4. Completely snow covered windows.

Give that man trophy.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

PARK N PAINT

I jumped through the racket-filled hoops of the RI DMV this week. One such money-hoop was a VIN check. You had to go to a dude at a special police station that is open every other 3rd full moon for like 3 hours in the middle of the day. Next, pay him 10-30 bucks cash, and he'd check you car VIN vs your title. At this point you could now go find a person to notarize the friggin' application for a new registration. Yay!

Anywho, the place had a special row of parking garage spots. The signs don't indicate anything about being towed or fined if you park there too long, just that you will be tagged. And given the many vibrant non-tax dollar funded murals that surrounded the place, I'd not park there for more than 15 minutes...

Monday, December 13, 2010

I HAVE FOUND BEERLAND

I've been told to go check out this place up the road by Jess2 and her knowledgeable beerman. It's like a whole 3 miles away - which is light years in this town. So I've been going instead to the one that's 2 miles away. But I was driving back from some coupon fueled errand (how does Michael's stay in business?) and saw the neon lights beckoning, so I swerved in for a looksee.

Hoooooooooooray. Place is loaded. Isles of crazy stuff. Coolers of good stuff. Mountains of crap stuff. The rest of the place is an alcoholics delight as well. Plus there's a can and bottle collection thingie attached. So in the parking lot I get to dodge station-wagons full of bottles and cans that are driven by hobos (all the windows are broken).

Also there's a special isle for Stuspengy.

"Oh, so Anchor Steam in in San Fran huh? Neat."

Sunday, December 12, 2010

PAINT MAKES HAPPY

After a bunch of effort and lots of cursing, the hellish area that is my day-prison has finally been painted. I've been locked in this room, day-in/day-out staring at the institution green walls with a crap pile behind me that awaits a painted room. The mental downer this has been can finally be blocked. It's painted, I have purpose in here now.Have you gotten the idea that this room is painted and I'm stoked? New desk mat for my chair! Corner shelves for nerd shit! I even cut a hole in the outer desk wall for the radiator to poke through and warm my feet! Wheeeeee!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

OK, AMC. I AM SATED.

Not too much of the zombie outbreak was explained, as most of the facts were fuzzy and the dude didn't know what he was doing. The rest of the world is still a large enough mystery since the power/communication gird went down and no one seems to know what the deal is anywhere. The CDC exploded and is gone. No goofy new plot lines were developed. The cast has been whittled down to the canon group, with the welcome bonus of Darryl. The whisper thing was lame, but is easy enough to puzzle out if you think about it. Merle is still running around and will most certainly be back as an evil d-bag. Essentially, they built themselves a big fat reset button so that come second season they can plot a decent story arc or two. Smart move? However, the ending didn't really leave any openings or tantalizing bits to get you stoked for more, besides basic survival. Ya know? It could theoretically just end here with a well placed "and there were nooooo survivors".

Switching to something that should've ended a long while back, but like a stubborn zombie keeps lurching forward - I leave you with this balsphemous nightmare that aired tonight.
THE END

Saturday, December 4, 2010

DEAR WALKING DEAD: PLEASE STOP DEVIATING IN MAJOR GIANT HUGE BIG WAYS, IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

Oooooooooook. Here I go. It's been a hit or miss batch of episodes with this series. A series I want to succeed reeeeeeeal bad. And it has, given the numbers and second season green light. But it is not living up to its potential. I know it was taking a chance and a short season and nothing was guaranteed during shooting and the budget was limited - but that's all the more reason you shouldn't fuck around with an equation that's been slingin' the bestest zombie fiction in comicdom.

I've, for the most part, been fine with the minor deviations acquired during the comic to TV transition. New throw away characters are fine, so long as you toss them. And they have! A few new conflicts, like the "vatos" in the hospital thing, was no big deal and resolved itself. However. HOWEVER. Breaking canon by actually making it to the CDC and then developing a reason for the zombie plague itself is not cool. It's stupid and rushed.

This is the one thing the comics never ever reveal over 80 issues, leaving lots of questions and venues to explore. So, there's no damn need to reveal it here either. It adds nothing and only, honestly, detracts from the stories that did so well in the first place to land a TV show. This changes everything. So many plotlines from the source material can't be used anymore with this shit floating around out there. I'm cool with new adventures and what have you, but this isn't a side trip. It's the answer. The potential for fail is so great at this point. It's almost like they're chickening out on what needs to be done ie the killing what needs doing. Shedding light on the virus subject is a very bad move. Fuck, they even named it!

Isn't it better to have the charcaters guessing about how it spreads? Bites only? Scrapes? Can you get zombie juice in your mouth and become one? Or if the USA is alone in this? If it's just Georgia or the South? All that gets flushed tomorrow when the brother from The Truman Show ruins the surprise (how ironical!).

And Merle. The wacky, now one handed, racist dude is still out there. A loose string is cool, but this loose string is bad for a pair of reasons. One: the hand cutting. Given events that will transpire down the line (hopefully), this injury will become Seinfeldian and the retribution will actually be deserved. Two: If Merle follows the trajectory he appears ot be on, then one of the best villians in the comics has just been explained away and now isn't so scary. So Kirkman, take care of Merle now.

Basically, why mess with it at all really? Lighting in a bottle twice? Hard to do. Essentially, a small ass percentage of folks watchin the show have read the comics, so it's not like you're spoiling anything for them, in fact that's all we want is the stuff we love, but on TV. Is that so much to ask for? I guess so. Oh well.

All in all, it's a fine show. The gore levels are exceptional and I'm liking Dale a bunch, he's spot on. It is after all a friggin' TV show about zombies and swinging axes at zombie's heads so I should just calm down. But I can't! Maybe they'll fix it up tomorrow. Perhaps the dude in the CDC is full of shit and this is a red herring. I have faith in this Kirman guy, he's led the story down some questionable paths in the comics, but always pulled it off and managed to shock me along the way. So, here's to hopin'...