Friday, October 10, 2008

HEY, IT'S PAID FOR!

So feel free to sideswipe the sweet bejebus out of my well kept vehicle at your convenience! And total (broken axle) the car (owned by a visiting acquaintance) behind me too for good measure! The big win is for me and my deductible, since they're probably not gonna find the drunken culprit. Despite a witness. And the sideview mirror of the douche nozzle's car. And a call to the cops minutes later for a car that was spraying sparks and making more noise than, well, a spark factory, as it drove away. Balls.

+ + + + + + + + + + NEWSFLASHINGS + + + + + + + + + +
Looks like the culprit actually owned up to the dirty deed (or perhaps felt The Faceless Lord's musings of evil) and stopped by the house to say "Shucks, I'm sowwry.". Well, I guess 12 hours'll sober anybody up. Now, teh insuranced battel can beginss!

10 comments:

crazed cohen said...

Death. Pure and simple. Death. Check the link on the name.

Stuart Spengler said...

Street justice.

That is what needs to happen.

Stuart Spengler said...

I also like how it is on the driver's side, so you have a reminder how much you hate your fellow man every time you get in your car (until you get it fixed).

Faceless Lord said...

How can they hate on the Subaru so? An apology won't suffice. Your only reply: rage.

"Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else - word one - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you, this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one.

"When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and form it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin.

"I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."

Stuart Spengler said...

Don't let Cohen see what that text is referencing.

Don't they have a shirt of that now.

I am partial to 'I wish I could hate you to death.'

crazed cohen said...

What? This?:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/04/10/

Old news son. Old news. Nice prose though... if you're kind of a wimp.

Now this is manly:

"I feel an army in my fist."

Just a few words but oh, so much feeling.

"The Devil" said...

Welcome to my world. Except in my case the witness would never have shown back up and there would have been no witness.

Fucking filthy meat bags. There is no God or he would have hit the reset button long ago.

Sorry for your pain.

readwright said...

How and why did the evil drunken asshat come back to fess up and apologize? I'm assuming he was caught and had to come back. Obviously he wasn't so drunk he couldn't remember where he'd been smashing shit up. And who got their car totaled?

I hate everyone. Except you.

michelle said...

So sorry about your ride. This is a sign...Get a bike!

Chris Horse said...

Curren, what room where you in when you felt that "army in your fist"?

I heartily suggest my troop transport: "there's an army in my sock".