EVERYTHING AND SHIT'S MAGIC YO. OR: HOW THE FUCK DO MAGNETS WORK?

I am completely ignorant of the Insane Clown Posse. I only learned what a Juggalo was about 2 years ago. I was happy before I knew this term and of them and their goofy world and the redonkadonk number of Juggalos out there. I try to go on with what tattered remnants of a soul that I have left.

Anywho, I hit upon this video by them entitled "Miracles". And I am floored. Upon watching and listening to the heavy, way deep, meaningful, life changing lyrics, I find myself confused. Are they putting for the notion of "Fuck science and shit" or is it "Science can blow me and shit, stuff happens and that's that", or perhaps "Magic is everywhere and science is shitty an' shit"? I have no real clue. It matters not.

Lyrics and deep meaning aside, this video encompasses everything I look for and love in a music video. These being:

A: One completely ridiculous concept.
B: A nonexistent budget.
C: A huge idea that can never be fulfilled by the budget.
D: Dudes in makeup.
E: Eventual space travel.
F: Childbirth allusions.
G: Fuckin' rainbows.
H: Most importantly, instilling a sense of complete confusion in the viewer.

Here are some great quotes and items to look for:

1. "Music is all magic. You can't even hold it. It's just there in the air."
2. "Crows! Ghosts!"
3. The dude's kids in make-up. One of them gives us a coy look that chills me.
4. "Fuckin' rainbows after it rains."
5. Oh man, #5 is so good. So good it gets +51 to it's THAC0.
56. "How the fuck do magnets work?"
7. "I seen shit that'll shock your eyelids"
8. "Pure motha fuckin' magic"
9. Deep thinkin' clown faced guy.

It's worth trolling through the comments on youtube itself. There are some gems. Like "Green screens, how the fuck do they work?!"

Don't feel like watching the whole video? Fine be a quitter and continue to suck. But, please redeem yourself a wee bit and hit this deep link to the finest line in the whole video that comes after all the other good parts:

"Magic everywhere in this bitch."

UNO CENTO = RAGAZZO DI D.E.V.O.

100 posts of garbage!

CELEBRATE!

Do it in DEVO style like this 100% awesome kid.
Check his Mickey Mouse Doll! His T-shirt! His fucking flava!
His Ranger Rick posters! His sweet homemade keytar! His road sign wallpaper!
HIS TOTAL DISREGARD FOR BEDTIME!
Keep on keepin' on Spud!

FINE. DON'T JOIN MY CUSTOM VAN ARMY. LOSERS.

So no one thinks a custom van company would be totally rad, like the ad clearly said it would be? Fine. But check this fine piece of art I stumbled upon with The Devil while on a NYC Ultraman toy run. Should change your mind. It has it all. Sparkle paint, color fades, a troll, custom heart shaped window, hearts exploding, playing cards, shiny eyes, extennnnnnnded exhaust, and true love. The Devil sez it's some sort of "rock and roll" song in van form. I dunno what he's talking about.

NAMOR IS A JERK

And that's why I like him. Because Tony Stark is an ass and Namor makes no bones about tellin' it like it is. And he can breath underwater, fly, and punch whales, and he hits on Sue Storm in front of Reed Richards, and can call forth titanic sea beasts with a horn, and once grew a beard.

From: New Avengers: Illuminati

(Hopefully I'll be inspired in the future to put up more panels from comics that make me laugh or whatever. There are many. They should be shared.)

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTIANMAS/KWANZA/CHANUKKKKKAKAKA/MLK DAY: THE OREGON TRAIL

Is it really too much to ask today's super hacker computer whiz geek folk out there to make an original Oregon Trail app (none of that OT 2, 3, 4, or 5 crap or the newer mobile phone version) which can easily be played on my stupid ipod touch? I'm not talking some jailbroken only homebrew hack that only works on the every 3rd day of the month if Jupiter is in the sky and I gain the ability to never update my firmware or else it'll crush the basement made hack and everything on the ipod. I'm talking about a dumb ol' download which does the deed and brings me the handheld joy I so crave. Is it really asking for the world? And while I'm waiting, how about making it so that the online emulator works for a goddamn Mac. C'mon now. Seriously, it's getting ridiculous.

MRGH. MY HEAD. IT HURTS. COMPUTERBOX VIDEO SCREENS BURNING BRAIN. IT'S TIME TO GET AWESOME. ON TUESDAY.

Know what the world could use on a day like Tuesday? (any Tuesday) This dope, super high end video from DC's finest parody Rock and Roll band - RATTLER! Just what I needed to crush the dull fuzz that's sloshing about in between my ears. At least try and watch up to the point where they play on the Metro (via awesome bluescreen technologies) if bad 80's rock ain't your thang.

>>>>> RATTLER: "PANTY INCINERATOR" <<<<<

QUAD LASER < QUAD GUITAR

Every now and then this extra special crazy person I know sends something in one of his email barrages that's actually worth checking out. Keep in mind that there's normally about 72 emails to go through from said nutter on a daily basis. It's nice to get mail. Anyway, here it is. Watch yer volume. Nitro has this dude in it that can play guitar stupid fast. The rest of them kinda suck in a Poison way, but he simply ends skulls. Stay with it for at least 12 seconds so you can witness the exploding guitar that reforms itself into the ultimate object of facemeltery. After that you can go - though you probably won't be able to very easily because your eyes will have exploded.

HEY WILLIE, FIRE UP THAT CRACK PIPE

Continuing the ALF kick and fulfilling a request from my dedicated readership, below you'll find an link to the one and only issue of The Inquirer I've ever bought. I still have it tucked away somewheres, though I figure the cheap paper it was printed on has since disintegrated. It's the wonderful tale of TV's lovable Willie from the super mega hit show ALF, smoking some crack, then smoking some pole. This shoulda been run in Time Magazine, it's that titanic. GO HERE NOW!