SHOP 4 BALLERS EXCLUSIVE FROM TRENTON

Insert your own Tron jokes. Please watch this, it is amazing.

Wheeeeeeee!

SENSEI MEADOWS IN DA HIZZOUSE or AIDS KARATE BEATS SEATTLE KARATE ANYDAY (IN THE 80s)

Watched a terrible film the other evening with some friends, mostly because of the descriptive text and the inclusion of a small Colorado town:

After punks at school hand him a savage beating, gay teen McClain Evans (Michael O'Laskey II) secretly begins martial arts training with Karen O'Neil (director Diana Lee Inosanto), a woman who has her own axe to grind with the narrow-minded rural community. But as Evans learns to stand up to prejudice and hate, the boy and his sensei unleash a firestorm of controversy in their small Colorado town.

So I figured it'd be a goofy karate kid type thing with a gay teen angle and full of bad music and high school stereotypes. Well it went into darker AIDS fear fueled territory for the most part, and pretty quick. But the over the top-ness of the family that I guess lived stuffed in a church basement, the Ramones-esque main character, actually decent karate, and the ridiculous school bullies helped ease the pain. As did the most excellent acting.

But most of all the whiteman version of Tim Meadows made it sing. Couldn't get it out of my head once it was pointed out by Mr. Sandwich. Also, despite the box cover, there were no sword fights or climactic showdows. Not enough lasers either. I wanted lasers.

BEER CRIT

What do you get your favorite DM if you want some leniancy after a Gelatinous Cube has your character slowly dissolving in its gut? Why, beer with Dragons and shit on it. Duh.

12% ABV: Check.
Dragon: Check.
Italian: Check.
Any Good?: Unknown...

THE BATTLE YOU'VE ALWAYS NEVER WANTED TO SEE!

Saw this in the aisle chaos scatter at a Toys R Us the day before xmas. A 2 pack of stink for most kids since one is way superior than the other. You get all jazzed to see Merman poking out of the wrapping paper and hope that maybe the other figure is Man E Faces or Ram Man or something - but then recoil in horror to find Aquadouche. (tangent: how did Optimus Prime end up pimping He-Man in those commercials?)

But some kids might choose wrong. Perhaps this special packaging is sorta like the Daigoro sword or toy test from Lone Wolf and Cub. Helps weed out the chaff. Except today we're not baby killin' barbarians, so instead the Aquaman choosin' kid just gets their hand cut off and is allowed to live in shame. Because Merman is totally awesome. Check out his stylish sea vest and aqua-cummerbund!

SOMETHING TO BE MIGHTY STOKED ABOUT.

A new Dead Milkmen album. Yay!