Thursday, July 2, 2009

REASON #753 THAT GAMERS SHOULD COLLECTIVELY BURN CHESSEX TO THE GROUND


The reasons are numerous, but one that really brings it home is simple. Plague and Pestilence. A fun little card game. These fucks have been sitting, SITTING on the license and rights to a complete, finished, no need for tweaking, dead simple but extremely popular card game, for close to 2 years now.
As you can see on their abso-wonderous fail site (reason #49), the game is "on hold". Along with another game they claim to sell, but currently have never released nor do they have a release date for it. Yeah, wrap your head around that sentence. Such is their sound business logic. You can also see on the page some other items that you may want but can't have because they will be out of stock until the end of time.


All they have to do is print the fucker. It's a done deal. It's like printing your own damn money. Plague and Pestilence is a perfect little game. It needs no new art, no new rules, no new nothing. It just needs to exist! Print the cards, put them in a box and, slap some of your fucking precious skull dice in there and ship it to the hungry nerds that are paying up to 120 bucks for a copy currently. Assholes! There a few sites on the internet that are pre-ordering the game, but have no idea (December maybe?) when it'll arrive. Gotta love pre-orders for stuff that may not exist.


Now, back to their website. Please, do go and enjoy the largest dice manufacturer's shit filled website! See how many different copyrights you can find! Oldest copyright wins a prize! The prize of course being whatever you want to take as yours since the copyright barely made this millennium! Check ou tthat jaggy logo! Marvel at the use of white space on the Dice home page! Wonder if you're going blind due to the crummy blurred pictures! Enjoy the sense of confusion you feel as you click on the Blank Dice link found here and are dumped onto a page with a giant list! See if you can find the cleverly hidden "click here to order" links scattered throughout the site!

It' simply amazing that these tards are allowed to continue to run a business. I'd be fucking embarassed to the extreme if this was my company's website and general ethos. So, gamer nerds, burn Chessex to the ground. Or at the very least, whoever hosts this abomination of a webpage, please delete it. I'll trade you my copy of Plague and Pestilence if you do.

7 comments:

rick smith said...

i've been waiting for this game for years. the wait will continue.

Coach Cohen said...

I've been playing this game since before I moved away from upstate New York (so a very long time indeed). It is simply one of the best drinking/friendly kick your neighbor's ass games period. the fact that Chessex is sitting on the license fills me with incredible sadness. I used to deal with Chessex over 20 years ago when I worked for a bookstore. They couldn't find their ass with two hands in a paper sack back then. Baaaaalllllss!

Chris Horse said...

Remember when our booth was always next to theirs at GenCon and they'd bitch all week long about us.

HA HA fuckers. Guess they got too deaf to print.

Bunch of river hippos is what they are.

Jessica said...

Please don't offer your copy of Plague and Pestilence as a bargaining chip even in jest.

Beezer said...

I agree with Jessica. Best game eva'.

Murphy said...

Please stop the slandering of River Hippos, they deserve more.

Scot said...

i was going to order a velour dice bag but decided against it because it was not embalzoned with "B.A.G. Bad Attitude Gamer"