Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A POINTLESS POST ABOUT WEATHER

The weeks of gathering up neighborhood cats, catching raccoons, trapping a curious hobo and then slowly sacrificing them (or parts of them) during late Winter night rituals to a Mythos deity which dwells underneath my garden in our backyard has paid off pretty well. The DC standard Summer weather configuration of 100% swamp-ass has been successfully diverted. Nights that aren't hideous sweat endurance contests! Nice days to ride to work and back! Air that doesn't hurt to breathe! No need to slap deodorant on my balls!

But, for how long will this last? I'm not sure. That hobo chained in the garage is running low on limbs and those things (limbs) are gold in terms of offerings to an alien being trapped just outside our dimension who is only really able to alter local weather patterns and gift followers with bountiful crops of particular green leaved vegetation. I think I can keep the rituals up for another week or so. After that I think we're just gonna have to deal with the horrors of August.

8 comments:

rick smith said...

what if i just catch you some more homeless people? it's been great cycling weather...didn't even break a sweat last weekend. nice weather = longer ride too.

wait for august...

Jessica said...

Wait.
You've stopped putting deodorant on your balls?

Ack Ack Ack said...

Doncha worry none, it'll happen soon. A brief break is all.

rick smith said...

Wait...wait. You have balls?!?

(you were probably expecting that comment, but probably from Go-Go. right? RIGHT?)

Ack Ack Ack said...

Just because you're smooth like a Ken doll down there, don't mean everyone else is too.

rick smith said...

Really?

Chris Horse said...

Nice ride.

I am endlessly jealous that you get to use your Vespa.

Beezer said...

Disgusting. You people are disgusting. (But I love you all the more.)