I'VE HEARD THAT THE 60'S WERE AWESOME - BUT NO ONE REMEMBERS CONCRETE DETAILS THANKS TO KITCHEN PARTIES AND MATCHING REFRIGERATOR DECOR. AND DRUGS.

This is a commercial. For Westinghouse refrigerators and stuff. But I seemed to have missed that point due to fishnets and shaking areas.

IS IT JUST LURKING IN THE BACK OF OUR MINDS? or YEAH I STOLE THAT SHIT YO

Some super uncanny parallels all over this mofo, from paint schemes to general critter design. Though I'm sure hours of research could turn the tables on just about any film or story. I guess the take away here is that old Flash Gordan serials are awesome.

LEST WE FORGET - LIGHTNING STRIKES AGAIN AND AGAIN or SNK'S NEW WAVE FIGHTER

Klaus Nomi. Germany's DEVO. So dope.

He was a cardboard and electrical tape wonder.

In my mind, there needs to be a Samurai Showdown/Street Fighter type 2D brawler where 80's/New Wave bands like Art Of Noise, Taco, Falco, and Kajagoogoo kick the shit out of Lady Gaga. Earthquake stays selectable, since he looks like he could start some sorta new wavey band instantly.

The little girl creature from this video got me stoked as a kid.
She'd get to point at stuff, then dudes would destroy it. Rad.
Not sure if I posted this before, but, whatever.

OHHHHHHHHH GOOD. IT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED or BLADE RUNNER WAS RIGHT

TVs at the damn pump. Really. A great #1 super best idea.

I dropped by a Shell late last night as the car was on the dreaded orange light of doom. Swiped the card, dropped the nozzle in, and was horrified when a voice behind me boomed "WELCOME! WE'RE GLAD YOU COULD BE WITH US!" I spun around, and there's a tiny Asian man stuffed in a yellow screen smiling at me.

Next thing I know, I'm getting peppered by 10,0000 decibel ads on how Shell gas is awesome. Then it went into a bit on home improvement tips from a bald dude on how you shouldn't paint your home in colors you actually like as you should instead pick neutrals so you can always be thinking about resale value (living is fun!). Whaaa? Not missing a beat, I get the weather report next.

At this point I'm yelling at a TV screen at midnight on Georgia Ave and telling it to shut the fuck up.

But it doesn't listen. It plows on into some other Shell related BS at random and it's like watching a game of Dragon's Lair, but without any Bluth art or Dragons or Lairs. It was so loud and obnoxious. Then the Asian dude pops back up and wishes me well. Fuck you.

I kinda always thought the relentless ads and that flying shit in Blade Runner were crazy nutty. Sadly, Shell or some other evil douche bag is probably already knee deep in developing hoverbot ads to annoy the bejesus out of us all.

I'm never going to Shell again if I can help it.

EVERYTHING AND SHIT'S MAGIC YO. OR: HOW THE FUCK DO MAGNETS WORK?

I am completely ignorant of the Insane Clown Posse. I only learned what a Juggalo was about 2 years ago. I was happy before I knew this term and of them and their goofy world and the redonkadonk number of Juggalos out there. I try to go on with what tattered remnants of a soul that I have left.

Anywho, I hit upon this video by them entitled "Miracles". And I am floored. Upon watching and listening to the heavy, way deep, meaningful, life changing lyrics, I find myself confused. Are they putting for the notion of "Fuck science and shit" or is it "Science can blow me and shit, stuff happens and that's that", or perhaps "Magic is everywhere and science is shitty an' shit"? I have no real clue. It matters not.

Lyrics and deep meaning aside, this video encompasses everything I look for and love in a music video. These being:

A: One completely ridiculous concept.
B: A nonexistent budget.
C: A huge idea that can never be fulfilled by the budget.
D: Dudes in makeup.
E: Eventual space travel.
F: Childbirth allusions.
G: Fuckin' rainbows.
H: Most importantly, instilling a sense of complete confusion in the viewer.

Here are some great quotes and items to look for:

1. "Music is all magic. You can't even hold it. It's just there in the air."
2. "Crows! Ghosts!"
3. The dude's kids in make-up. One of them gives us a coy look that chills me.
4. "Fuckin' rainbows after it rains."
5. Oh man, #5 is so good. So good it gets +51 to it's THAC0.
56. "How the fuck do magnets work?"
7. "I seen shit that'll shock your eyelids"
8. "Pure motha fuckin' magic"
9. Deep thinkin' clown faced guy.

It's worth trolling through the comments on youtube itself. There are some gems. Like "Green screens, how the fuck do they work?!"

Don't feel like watching the whole video? Fine be a quitter and continue to suck. But, please redeem yourself a wee bit and hit this deep link to the finest line in the whole video that comes after all the other good parts:

"Magic everywhere in this bitch."

WATCH ME DO A KANGAROO HOP, THEN KICK IT OUT ON THE TABLETOP

BMX and bikes were so important growing up. Every waking hour out of school was spent on or near a bike if the weather was decent. On the bus I'd read Radical Rick comics. And once I was able to bike to school in 7th grade, the bus could eat my ass. We even went and built a rather large track in the woods with sick jumps and banked curves. Many a scar on my body originates from that track and the stupid tricks attempted with zero practice. Helmets? Whaaaaa?

When the weather was shit, HBO seemed to always to have some excellent schlock on. Back then HBO ruled (that old opening where you go through the model city and blast into space to the HBO logo is probably the greatest thing HBO has ever produced) and had crappy movies on all the time. One year it seemed like the film BMX Bandits was on every friggin' day. I've seen it so many times it hurts.

One of the more confusing aspects of the film to my pre-teen brain was the love triangle in the movie. It got in the way of the shit I wanted to see (jumps and wheelies accentuated with laser noises) and never really resolved itself. They're just pals in the end, but both PJ and Goose (Goooooooose! Noooooo! Gooooose!) totally wanted to hit that prime, BMX toned, Nicole Kidman ass. At the end in the credits, they all win trophies for being BMX masters/funding the construction of a track. How are they going to celebrate and resolve their unfounded desires? Who will Powderpuff choose? No joke, but years later, when I deciphered the dirty meaning of "Chinese Handcuffs", my mind leapt to the BMX Bandit triangle and I knew the answer.

Anyways, to get back on track, much like RAD, the end credits of the film were nothing but BMX porn. RAD was all flatland tricks galore. BMX Bandits was about kicking some ass. Except BMX Bandits had a super rock star song attached to it as well. After watching the credits, we'd be so pumped to go out and do tricks or construct a retardedly huge launch ramp. It all led to the inevitable wreck, followed by loose skin and the picking of rocks out of scrapes. Good times. (you see we ignored the warning that shows up about a minute into the video)

GET PUMPED!