Monday, June 22, 2009


Because last I checked, the entirety of the Republican base and the majority of the country was shoving hot pokers up Obama's ass, even before he got elected, for saying that he'd be up for having talks with Iran. Ya know, diplomacy. Why? Because it's a nation of terror and Jew hating awesomeness - all of them! But, now that freedom has magically sprung up overnight and some innocent lady dies on tape for the world to see, Iran is cool and Republican jerks are super best friends with Iran and Obama is an asshole.

Apparently the entire country of Iran isn't in fact filled with terrorists, genetically enhanced muslim death squads, Menorah bustin' goons, or American hating fucknuggets that want to rape our children in the night with gigantic eggplants - as previously put forth for years by the fearmonger machine of the right wing. Sure they've their share of dangerous nutjobs. But have you looked around the US as of late? Nutjobs are everywhere.

Basically it turns out Iranians are just fucking people. Wow. They have people in the middle-East? I thought they were all pretty much muslim terrorist robots or simply part of a rampant mummy problem. And these people have been there for years? Really? They haven't just popped up just over this past week? Oh, my head is spinning with the revelations! Zoinks!

So, now the Republican base is up in arms and demanding that we have to go help them and support freedom! Send lawyers, guns and money! America-world-police are go!

The fuck? Really?

Let's go back to the glorious year 2000. Our very own nation (yes, the infallible USA) had a rather fucked and suspect election. One that was decided by the courts. Go Democracy. What if France was like "Hey, you guys should stop counting votes and hanging chads and grow up." or Germany was like "Hey, why do you even bother with elections?". The shitstorm would have been epic. Someone else would DARE tell the USA how to conduct its business and get away with it? Oh, shit no.

Same applies here you douche bags. Let it play out. It's not like there isn't enough broke ass shit in our own country to fix and thousands of people don't have jobs or healthcare. And calling another country's election system a farce is fucking hilarious to the extreme. We still use an electoral college which was designed mainly because FUCKING ROADS HAD NOT BEEN INVENTED.

Douche bag super quote of the week, from some wheezebag named Bill Bennett on CNN:

“We are last best hope on Earth,” “He is the President of the United States. If he will not side with these young people against a religious autocracy that is beating the hell out of people, what is the point of being the moral leader of the free world?”

Oh man, so much comedy in there. Pure gold.

Sorry. Rant over. Regularly scheduled posts of mindless content to follow.


Anonymous said...

So what was your point? Are we cool with Iran so we can use their landing strips when we "liberate" North Korea soon?

We are just the big bully on the block pushing our opinions on everyone else, have been for years. We'll be involved in another war before our healthcare system is fixed 'cause thats all we know what to do.

Ack Ack Ack said...

The main point is that I wanted to use that Mego Mummy image for something forever now and I also thought having a rampant mummy problem was funny.

That and politicians in the senate should shut the fuck up and do their goddamn jobs instead of perpetually scraping and clawing for something to make themselves look good in order to get re-elected in 2 damn years. It's disgusting.

Murphy said...

Before I totally lambaste you I would just like to point out how incrediably false this statement is:

"We still use an electoral college which was designed mainly because FUCKING ROADS HAD NOT BEEN INVENTED"

Come on Cairo, don't bea blinded by da rage or grease drippin ina youra eyes!

In closing, people of extreme political views (either side) are massive are the folks that "run" Iran.

I will now finish reading and then be back to lambaste you.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Fine, Mr Facts Murphy. It sounded funny to me. I go with funny. By roads I was of course alluding to communications and such. Everybody couldn't hear what senator dickhole had to say about how dope slavery was back then so elected dudes did the listenin' and reppin' for the populations of regions.

Point is, the electoral college seems a bit outdated and broken-ish. Since when in our day to day does fucking super electorate Ohio dictate the flow of the nation? Never? Oh yeah, I forgot.

Double point is let the people in Iran deal with their stolen election issues and broken fucked up leaders. We'll do the same.

Anonymous said...

If we try to go in there and 'give them democracy' we will just be making it so much worse for the regular people who live in Iran. Their leaders will never stand for it and will retaliate in ridiculous ways - like making the women wear head scarves with absolutely no hair showing, or making it illegal to possess American music CDs. If you haven't seen the movie 'Persepolis' (or even better read the graphic novel on which it was based) I highly recommend it. It follows a young girl growing up in 1980s Iran during the revolution. Another country tried to 'give them' peace and instead those who took over from the original repressive regime started a new repressive regime that was way worse than what they started out fighting against in the first place. And that shit trickled down into taking away as many individual freedoms (in the name of religion) as possible. We are just going to fuck up the lives of those regular people who just want to work, and have a family, and enjoy time with their friends, relax with a drink, etc. If we try to 'give them democracy' we will ruin everything. Diplomacy, yes please! Forced democracy, no no no!!!!

Anonymous said...

to what Ty said about the electoral college I agree with. Broken and not a democracy of popular vote. We basically have a Oligarchy of chosen ones and they let us vote for the hell of it. A pure popular vote wouldn't involve any "swing states"

Anonymous said...

Wait, when the fuck did your blog become a hotbed for current events. I get too fired up talking about politics and religion. More nerds dressed up as Transformers!!

Scot said...

i agree that the electoral college is outdated. i agree that America should let Iran deal with it's own problems.

However i do take issue with the idea that all America can and does is push our opinions on everyone else and that our health care system is bad. Despite what some people say, America is the reason most of the world can enjoy technology. America is the role model for any nation that wants a free society. America provides relief to many of the shit holes around the globe that cant clean their own water or grow their own food.

As far as health care is concerned, if the system is so bad than why do foreigners come here for health care. I know a dude from IRAN who came to America for his heart condition. got it fixed then went back to Iran.

Americans who complain about every little thing our country does remind me of the spoiled rich kids. They go to ivy league schools, have nice cars, never truly have to worry about much because their dad has provided for them. yet they complain about how their dad is an asshole because he pushed his kids to hard to be successful when all they wanted to do was be in the drama club or something.

Ack Ack Ack said...

In conclusion, the Mego Mummy is awesome and assholes suck.


This post is too serious in nature for me. I demand more funny nerd toy shit!

Chris Horse said...

I suppose France should have kept their noses out of England's business so we could continue to be a Super Colony #1.

The dilemmas, they be moral, yo.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Always with the hindsight Fatty. And the French. Good jorb.

Who'd win?

Mego Horrible Mummy and Human Wolfman


The One Milion BC Family. (no T-Rex)

Murphy said...

Does One Million BC Family get Cohen - excuse me Hairy Rhino - on their squad?

The Huffington post is not your friend said...

"Since when in our day to day does fucking super liberal electorate of New York and California dictate the flow of the nation?"

I feixed yer quote. And the answer is daily. If you really think that Ohio is pulling the shots, then you need to get your head out of da TV. We need less nanny state.

How about the President grow a pair and tell the world that he supports liberty and freedom. No, instead he'd rather side with dictators and keep them trouble free.

He telling the coup in Honduras that it should put their president back in power...and the reason was that he violated their own constitution to extend his rule. Thanks Oblame, keep standing up for what little freedom is left in the world, nah go party with dictators and bow down to tyrants.

ACORN - how about you do some research on their shennanigans in the 2008 election.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Mego Mummy! You came out of your sarcophagus to speak! Thanks for stopping by!

Chris Horse said...

Special interest shenanigans in politics?

In my country?

Hope they don't investigate the terrorist activities of Operation Rescue, NRL, and their influence on the 2000 and 2004 campaigns.