OH, HEY THERE. GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU MR. GACY.

Junk mail is somethin' else. Finally, some free rape pics.

PUT A BARBARIAN COAT ON OR YOU'LL CATCH A BARBARIAN CHEST COLD.

I'm just sayin', if I were a barbarian warrior woman trying to barbarian make it in a barbarian harsh barbarian world...

The 1st thing I'd do is kill a barbarian bear and make a damn barbarian jacket for my enormous barbarian knockers. This miniature company doesn't believe in upper-torso wear at all.

Or in removing the 2,500 extraneous paragraph tags at the bottom of their single mega-scroll-page website design.

THE ACADEMY AWARDS SUCK ASS BECAUSE JACK PALANCE ISN'T AROUND ANYMORE.

Cold. Hard. Fact.

PALANCE-O-VISION

BATTRA TAKES IT!

4th grade, I know.

But what a poor design choice on the toymakers part.

FINE. DON'T JOIN MY CUSTOM VAN ARMY. LOSERS.

So no one thinks a custom van company would be totally rad, like the ad clearly said it would be? Fine. But check this fine piece of art I stumbled upon with The Devil while on a NYC Ultraman toy run. Should change your mind. It has it all. Sparkle paint, color fades, a troll, custom heart shaped window, hearts exploding, playing cards, shiny eyes, extennnnnnnded exhaust, and true love. The Devil sez it's some sort of "rock and roll" song in van form. I dunno what he's talking about.

IRON-ONS ARE TEH RULEZOR #1

Book #2 of The Inhumans' 1st series brings the goods! So many sweet iron-on choices here for just 76 cents. It's a tough decision, with the "TUCK INS" Crab (because you often tuck crabs into your pants?) pulling my fancy - but the clear winner for me is the dirt bike flanked by double checker flags. Because I'm a winner.

FUCK AN ECONOMY!

There are jobs to be had! Take inspiration from this dope ad for being a Custom Van dude. Sure it's like 40 years old, but c'mon they're still out there. Right? Let's jump start this mofo econ biznatch with a custom van company today! East Coast Van Deezeyens and Weezard Pain-tt. ECVDWP! We'll all get Iron-ons too! (for the uniform)

Inhumans #2 has been a gold mine thus far. AND it featured friggin' Blastaar. Well not really, but he set up the whole Kaptoids thing and stuff.

SLEEP, AND THEY EAT YOU

I hit this jolly image while searching for "thyroid cancer" and "throat pain sneeze". I guess these two things are the same as searching for "nightmare hell carnival in your soul" and "things that cause cancer". Enjoy this, your Tuesday terror.

AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

So I finally subjected myself to a viewing of this LA cult hit film thing called The Room. I had heard about it on the webz, but never pursued the acquisition of it on DVD or even a general viewing. Unlike other such schlock cinema as Bulletproof and Hider In The House (which I had to get from a Region 2 DVD and reburn to Region 1) - which were a bit of work to pick up. But those films were all about Busey. So there's that. Anyways, I was mainly turned off of The Room by:

1. LA
2. It's taken on a Rocky Horror type following in the theatres
3. It was featured in Entertainment Weekly
4. It didn't have monsters or lasers or any other type of that junk
5. No Gary Busey

However, this film came to me highly recomended by Mr. Waters, my main broheimus of 20 some years. This is the guy who willingly suffered through Manos The Hands of Fate when it 1st hit the airwaves, snuck into countless R films with me during our tweens, and suffered through too many other shit films to mention during the college years instead of working on our respective degrees. How could I say no?

So he sat me down and popped it in. He prefaced that it is best to watch this interview with director/star Tommy Wiseau before starting the film. He's a cross between a 600 year old vampire and a mildly retarded person who laughs at everything as part of an uncontrollable tic. The interview alone is fucking priceless. This guy is a gem. Re-dubbed voices, film jumps, preposerous logos, and inane questions galore. It seemed like a fake, like something Tim and Eric would do. But apparently it's all the real deal. Though I still feel in my gut like it's a big joke put on by some smart rich bastard with a bunch of start up money.

So, here's a slew of clips culled from the pits of YouTube so you too can bask in the garbage, but not have to lose a piece of your soul watching the whole thing. Though you do miss out on seeing the homeless street urchin kid character named Denny, the creepiest/best dude of the film. He should be the sole subject of the sequel: Denny's Rampage - A drug addled streetchild turned architect's dream of a vampire cruelty-free world.

This clip is super short and sums up the quality you can expect. It also features a bewildering array of emotions. Also, it features the super cool roof stairway that is really some plywood painted to look like concrete and has no stairs and doesn't go anywhere.

Here we see our Vampire hero getting some flowers for his evil potato faced girlfriend. All you need to know is, "You're my favorite customer."

In this lengthy romp, some brave soul compiled every instance of Tommy Wiseau's laugh, then his crazy downfall at the end of the film. He does this creepy little laugh all the time and it's quite ridiculous to boot. I've taken to imitating it. Help me.

I'M MIGNOLA. I'M DONE DRAWING STUFF. WORDS ARE EASIER.

Dug up these neato pencil to ink to color images from Hellboy Darkness Calls along with a big wordy bit on Dark Horse whilst searching for ways to remove sibilance from audio. It was on Apple's site. (hooray vagaries of the internet) There's a rad production profile that runs down just how much work Mignola used to do when he did Hellboy on his own. But now that he has superhuman sketch/ink dude Duncan Fegredo and what appears to be the only colorist left in the Dark Horse universe - Dave Stewart - at his command, ol' Mikey just has to crank out 20 some pages of word balloons a month. Good deal!

So long as the books keep coming out monthly, and looking this great - I really don't really care. In fact I think Fegredo is probably a little bit better than his Master at this point.

Article can be found here.