BE SURE TO WEAR YOUR HELMET. DEVO WRAP UP.

Here's three stupid videos to close out my Devo week.

First one is all about two things that are on my mind alot. The headgear at the end makes me want to glue a power dome to my helmet. Not thinking of buying a Honda scoot anytime though. They scream 80s at undesirable decibels. But maybe that's rad. So torn.

Kids and whips! Strange that they left out the part from the original video wherein the one cowboy dude grabs a chick and bangs her in the cabin. May have slipped their minds. But, they got the cream part in there.

And lastly, a sad piece of YouTubery. Whip It Unplugged, Trailer Parked, and Ukulele-ized. He just keeeeeeps going. And then freestyles a bit. Then his hat falls off. The batman figures on his wall growl their displeasure.

FLAMES COMING OUT. OF THE SAXOPHOOOOOOOONE!

There was an opener for Devo, some band named JP Inc. Who opens for Devo I asked myself? I did a quick interwebs search and found some spoofy songs and their accompanying weird videos, one of which involved a monster truck. I watched one and figured, oh it'll be some sorta goof band like the Dead Milkmen or something. I was close. Ish.

So one dude comes out on stage. Dressed up as an old fella wearing a suit. He's supposed to be the CEO of a fake TV channel - JP Inc. I get it now, it's basically a stand up act. The giant movie screen above starts playing one of the videos I saw online beforehand. The Jazzbot Xtreme. And the dude simply rips into it, singing along and jamming a foot pedal for when the voice holds the eeeeeeeee in "extreme". His stage act, besides singing along, is to dance along in a weird wooden fashion. He had some sweet moves.

The video ends and he just keeps on keepin' on as the DVD plays through all his goofy videos. The videos are all the stuff of early interwebs funny - ie busted Flash movies. Crappy graphics that float across the screen and stolen internet images. The guy also photoshops his face onto pretty much every character in his fake TV shows and commercials. It was like watching a "live" version of my standard lunchbreak from 8 years back. Amusing stuff, for the most part. It was a fine way to get the crowd ready for Devo.

The songs that stuck in my mind are Jazzbot and Lieutenant Mustard. While listening to Lieutenant Mustard's jam, the backing vocals starting buggin' me as they weren't the JP dude's voice. Someone else. Very familiar stuff. I went home and found it online and had a listen again, then noted the guest vocals were credited to Joe Jack Talcum. The beloved Dead Milkmen singer guy. Double awesome! The JP guy has been doing this for years, so I'm way late here...

BEFORE THE CREAM SITS OUT TOO LONG...

Devo visited DC and the 9:30 Club last night. It was rather sick. Devo is one of the many little subconscious things that came together to shape my personality since I was a wee one. Again, this is solidly Dad's fault, whether he realizes it or not. There's only so many Devo videos you can park a young kid in front of during dinner without some collateral damage setting in. (we'll not get into the issues Rolly Polly Fish Heads brought about)

I bought tickets way early and was looking forward to seeing them in general as well as the chance to see 'em play Freedom Of Choice in its entirety. I had seen live show clips here and there and a full concert from back in the day (1980) and was always impressed with the sound quality and effort they put into their live set.Since it was a "we're gonna play this album" type of show, the set-list was pretty known. And that list has Mr B's Ballroom, Gates Of Steel, and Whip It in it. Some of my favorites. The encore songs would be the only wild card.
Well, despite being a thousand years old and in the biz for 30 years, Devo still does an impressive live performance. And for the encore, they fired up Be Stiff. I was way stoked as that song is so rad. After the encore, the house music came on, the roadies came out, and the lights went up, but the Spuds wouldn't leave, so Devo came back out. They made the roadies plug their shit back in and played Secret Agent Man. I've never seen a band defeat the house music before. Amazing. Below is a clip of Be Stiff some dude shot from the show last night.

So, expect a decent amount of Devo posts this week...

CARD WRAP UP EXPOSITIONANZA

As promised, here's a breakdown of some of the better cards we received for our Hallowedding. Thanks for working up such a varied batch of crafty crap. Enjoy.

Here, GoGo followed the rules and did just as I asked.
One Kettenkrad bustin' through a flaming ring.
Zero for originiality, but A for effort.
Ja! Sick jumps! Wundernice!

Motorcycles and pedophiles. Nice.

Close.

Props to Moms for finding and printing a boot out.

A fab surprise upon opening. Thanks Bruce Foley!

This one made noise when opened.
Anything with Conan can't be bad. Or children crying into a pillow.

This was drawn by a Mom peoples. And hand scripted inside. Best one, easily.

These win the best "Wha?" card as well as the only "Duplicate Card" award.
Quite an accomplishment. Rollercoaster? Whatevs.

Count Jake went the extra mile and did up a neato blood spattered card.
Burned it too. Yay!

TOMORROW IS ONE OF THOSE SPECIAL DAYS

I recall seeing this commercial whilst wasting my life watching yet another Friday The 13th marathon and thinking, "This is the greatest commercial ever". And I still feel that way. Though I coulda watched the entire 1st film, given the amount of time it took me to dig this bastard up. Wrong keywords I guess. Anywho, enjoy.

REASON #349 COLBERT IS A FUNNY DUDE

He does Kurosawa based jokes.
And treats Twitter as a joke as well.

DID YOU KNOW? / WUSSTEN SIE SCHON?

Achtung bathenzihaus! ( I made that word shit up, see, German is easy!) This neato ad comes from my super blonde German contact buried deep in ze Fatherland. Yeah, I guess it's a big issue being seperated from your pets during sexy German bathtimez. So, when you bathe and absolutely have to keep an eye on your massive chinchillas Dieterzon and Wundernice, German efficiency is there for ya. Bathe with a clear conscious knowing that Dieterzon and Wundernice are watching your every nude move as you laze about in your bathtub for giants.

This is what happens when you lose a war folks. We'd best get used to the idea of furry critters watching us floss, take baths, hot showers and drop dueces.

GETTING BACK INTO IT. LET'S BEGIN WITH: THE CHILD CARE DEN. A SAFE PLACE FOR KIDS.

So, this place caught my eye because of the goofy font whilst I was rolling phat down Georgia Ave one day on my Scootypuff Junior. Then the font became words in my brain and here we are.

Question #1: OK, so you decided to call your daycare a "Den". Good job. Most things that live or frequent dens - in my mind - tend to be Dragons, Hippogriffs, and Jersey Devils. Here's some fun definitions for "Den".

1. The shelter or retreat of a wild animal; a lair.

2. A cave or hollow used as a refuge or hiding place.

3. A hidden or squalid dwelling place: a den of thieves.

4. A secluded room for study or relaxation.

5. A unit of about eight to ten Cub Scouts.

Question #2: Quickie Becky? For reals? I guess question #2 answers question #1, but lays bare the reality that someone approved Quickie Becky's Child Care Den.

I'm spent.

I GUESS DOING A RAINDANCE BACKWARDS DOESN'T REVERSE THE SPELL

Sorta like driving a car backwards doesn't erase mileage. I shold have listened to "Ferris Bueler's Day Off", but was blinded by the logic presented in "The Gate".

It's almost funny in a cosmic sorta way.

ME: "Dear Fall, don't shit on this one day please."
FALL: "So you'll like what then?"
ME: "I dunno, maybe 10 hours of semi-decent weather. Don't go crazy."
FALL: "Right, a lovely week preceeding the day in question, then close to exactly 12 hours of rain during the prime daylight hours, high temperatures, and near 100% humidity. Got it."

ME: "Uh, cool, thanks."

We're so in a fight right now.

I CAN BREATHE ONCE MORE

The nerd backlash was mighty.

An update to the update to fix that which was not broken in the 1st place, has healed all.

Green button does what it's supposed to do.

GoGo, them links to that JC site have ruined my sleep cycle.