Thursday, February 18, 2010


Terrify your children with this crazy shit!

"No, that's cool Dad, I'll just read in the dark."
Grab JC's junk and flip away!
Each upward flick brings new life to a room!
Whilst a downward press plunges the room in to demon filled darkness!

"Bedtime is great because it's now a terrifying life or death battle for my soul."
Classic crap from back in the day. Pajamas that double as THE ARMOR OF GOD! Nice. Think these folks went out business. I mean, yeah.

"Jeepers, it's like he knows exactly what I'm thinking of doing after Sunday School."
From the pitch: "When was the last time your class saw how 'HOT' God's Word is? Open this authentic-looking 'Bible' and begin to share the scripture for the day as real flames are seen coming from your 'Bible'. This full-size book comes with a battery-operated ignition system. All you supply are the batteries, lighter fluid and composure..."

"Uh, no, really grandma, I'll just stand."
Got nothing to add to this piece of wonderment.

Special thanks to my trapped Frenchie Floridian penpal for today's inspiration.


saffrons12 said...

The ResErection light cover is pure gold. I especially like the throne too. From there, the lord can bring comfort to your bum while you watch him get turned on.

Chris Horse said...

Christians are pious and steadfast in their faith, and as such easy targets for this type of oppressive humor.

You'd never make fun of Muslims in this manner.

Wow, I almost did that with a straight face

Ack Ack Ack said...

It's a chair. Of Jesus. That you sit in.

Anonymous said...

Muslims don't make light switches out of their prophet. Likewise, most Christians don't make light switches out of their savior. However, all Christian light switch-makers are both Christian AND make light switches. Also, humorists tend to be pious and steadfast in their humor. They generally welcome more humor regardless of non-humor beliefs.

"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything." - Bokonon

Anonymous said...

Well, crap...I didn't scroll-down to the 'straight face'-part of Horse's comment. I hereby withdraw my comment and my defense of humor. Suck it, humor.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Hello Mr. Kurt Vonnegut! Nice to have you stop by. Nice to see you typing from beyond the grave.

Ack Ack Ack said...

It's OK Kurt, I understand you may be new to the interwebs (and death) as well as this whole "scrolling" thing.

Anonymous said...

Horse's boffo 'line break'-skilz eluded my Percepticon powers. Looks like self-flagellation again for me. Alright, Miss Kittensworth, let's get this over with.

Chris Horse said...

Failed your Find Traps roll, I unabashedly win the intertubes today!

I hereby propose that Muslims make light switches out of their prophet, but they need to make sure somehow when switched on, the switch disappears inside a part of the plate that looks like a 9-year-old girl.

ZING! (off to bomb-proof my house.

P.S. If my allusion makes no sense just do a lil Google search on it.