Friday, February 19, 2010


So, this Norwegian ref guy, Ovrebo, has time and time again proven that his grasp on the rules of football are about as solid as mine are regarding international sea freight shipping law. In the last few years or so he's made some super friends all over the world. I started in on his epic fail career during the Euro Cup 2008 when he disallowed a goal for Italy during a match vs Romania due to a very obviously wrong offside call vs one of my favorite spaghetti eatin' football actors Luca Toni. Some nice work there.

From this lofty perch of awesome he moved on to crush Chelsea's run at the Champions league last year by missing ridiculous penalty after obvious penalty and earning a free "never visit the Ivory Coast or you'll end up with a machete in your face" voucher from Drogba and Co. Truly, truly epic work during that game. You figure it would be a career ender.

But, seeing that he could do better, he decided to continue his fab run. To prove he was indeed nonpareil, he picked up where he left off with his "offsides is a rule you can sorta use whenever" stance allowing a Bordeaux goal vs Juventus to stand. He was truly on top of his game!

Then, this past week, he went too far by putting in yet another ref of the year perfomance. An outmatched Fiorentina put up a decent fight AT Munich and was rewarded wth a lovely red card for a total innocuous non-foul.
Minutes later Klose dives in with a friendly stud filled challenge and comes up with a...nothing. Ace reffin' dude. So, Fiorentina weathers what is essentially a 20 minute shootfest denying strike after strike.
Fearing that he might be late to a "krabbelag" he was invited to, he decided to hurry things along and flex his offside knowledge, allowing a pretty darn offsides Klose to drop the ball near the 90th minute or so. So a team that put out a good effort was rewarded with douchebagery. (sure they'll get crushed later on, but still...)
And what happens after all his epic decisions? He says "Awwwww man, my bad. Was that the 1st time you made it into a quarter final round in 30 years? Aw, dude, so sorry." And he keeps his job. So, I can't wait to see him ref South Africa so that he can expand his list of countries he'll never be able to visit without threat of death. Enjoy the pictures of Ovrebo and all his biggest fans below!


Murphy said...

So I see you got around to watching the game...

Kudos, your post is spot on. It seems I'll turn you into a footie fanatic eventually, your commentary shows the growth of your knowledge in regards to the beautiful game. Now if only you'd support a real club instead of some greasy pasta eaters!

Truely another epic fail from my favorite Norwegian. I gotta say at least he is consistant in his absolute fuckin douchebaggery. Also, I'm glad he got to ref your match instead of the Chelsea match next week...otherwise machetes would indeed come for his face. If you watched the Arsenal v Porto match you would see the ref-ing in that game was just as terrible, although I can't help but smile when the Gunners get jobbed.

More footie on the placemat makes Murphy happy!

Murphy said...

BTW, that picture of Drogba is so ace. I think I shall replace my Lampard desktop with it.

Ack Ack Ack said...

I watched the Arsenal game just before Fiorentina and was quite ready for a change in watching games run by shit refs. But, alas, I got a double dose of awesome.

I like pasta.

Chris Horse said...

How is it when I'm season ticket holder and going to games no one is interested.

I move away from it all and suddenly everyone is a god damn footie fan.


Anonymous said...

If we pool our money, we could buy Scootland's 'Rangers'-club. If we have anything left-over we could buy Abbey Road. (Both are for sale.)...Then, we buy Parliament, gut it, put a concert hall/football pitch inside it and master rekkids across town. Solid. Who's wit me?

In case this plan fails to garner support, which team should I start supporting so that I can call myself a long-time fan in 10-or-so years.

"Where are the Burns-Os?" - Monty

Murphy said...


Rangers are beyond rubbish...and Pompei would be cheaper like 5 quid.

As far as teams to support I hear that West Hamilitons' UTD FC is the one...

J. Philip Foley said...

I agree with Horse... how is it that the guy who only watched Italy during World Cup time is now watching random matches and keeping up with ref. ratings?

We need to have a huge World Cup party with beers and food from the countries we're watching beat on each other. Like Italian Wine and sardines with German beer and schnitzel.

I too am happy about footy on the placemat!

Anonymous said...

Awww, crap. There's another 'anonymous' out there...leaving bogus links to boot. Looks like it's time for a name change. Speaking of names, Murphy, you want me to root for The Floppy Noodles? Really?

Ack Ack Ack said...

Dear Fatty and J-Fo -

A: I apologize for not being hip enough to enjoy soccer.

B: Outside of major tournaments, watching regular games has been pretty much been a non-option until a year or so ago.

C: Fuck you!

Chris Horse said...

You have clearly misinterpreted my post as being critical when, in fact, it is an expression of overwhelming jealousy at your easy access to games of footie and individuals with which to watch said events.

adieu adieu adieu

Murphy said...

Not the Floppy Noodles, those Kiwis/Aussies are imposters!

The true West Hamiltons' UTD FC nickname is simply the Hams...we (I'm the player/coach) represent for the whole Metro area and more specifically the world with a rosster full of European misfits and 2 Americans. Alas, we underachieve and could use the support.

BTW, Ack I dig the MP-40's!

Ack Ack Ack said...

Plus I hear The Hams excel at own-goals and unbelievable Red Card situations. Fandom and time well invested.