BUT...CAN WE EAT IN RUSSIA? I CAN SEE IT FROM MY HOUSE, IT'S JUST DOWN THE STREET.

So, the above eBay auction is legit. It's for charity, so that's nice. Pay 25K to start the bidding and maybe, just maybe, you'll win a dinner with a retarded person. No, I speak not of her poor child. I mean retarded in the sense that this person does not actually have extra chromosomes, but chooses to instead act as such. And as bonus, you'll dine with a SNOWMOBILE CHAMPION too! And possibly an honest to goodness retard if you're lucky. Current bid - zero.

Fun details: You need to pre-approved to even bid on the shitty auction. So, there goes the chance of seeing some loose cannon with 25k burning a hole in their pocket spit in her face during dinner. I envisioned the goons from Jackass having an intimate evening with the lady. Maybe riding a flaming, shit covered BMX naked into the restaurant and bunyhop on her face. Oh, well. You also need to pass a background check. Make sense in these dangerous times. Palin gets to choose 3 additional mystery guests. These are TBD, but I can only assume Piper will be there.

Dinner will be no longer than 4 hours, but it could end in minutes! It's all up to the S-dogg. The final bit is the best, you can just read it yourself below. And if you're wondering what the *asterisk in the last paragraph is for, you can keep wondering. Nowhere in the auction is it explained in any way. I've included my version of what it probably means below. You can add you own if you want. It's fun to pretend.

*Easily the most rockheaded, harmful, distracting, lying, bag of monkeyshit in US history since perhaps James Earl Ray.

As is the wonderous way of the interwebz, there are a few fakie auctions in protest and in jest of Palin takin' it to eBay. This one is all about bidding for an evening of ping pong with some dudes who'll wear Palin and Rove paper masks during the entire game and following dinner. Nice.

And hey, it looks like Magog has decided to take a break from the ever zombifiying DC Universe to lend his help with a Sarah Palin dinner. Magog's a good guy. Once you get a few A-bombs in 'im.

And the winner of them all would be this dude. His outfit is for the win, and has currently raised the most cash. So hats off, triangle or otherwise, to you sir!