Friday, July 9, 2010

WE WANT MORE PETER BARK or HIS BITE IS WAY WORSE THAN HIS BARK

Le notti del Terrore or Burial Ground is just another phenomenal Italio-gore zombie gore flick bonanza. Sweet goofy rubber masks, maggots everywhere, tempura by the bucket full, half-made up zombies/dudes with green make-up in the rear ranks, and a plot written in between the prima pasti and secundo pasti of an average evening cena.

But this movie decided to excel above most others when it hired Peter Bark. Now one of the top contenders for creepy man-boy in all of horror cinema. Is it a boy? Is it a man? You're not too sure early on. Why hire such a creepy-ass kid? Surely there has to be some other kid worthy of this part? As the plot unfolds (Well, "stuff that happens", not so much worthy of the noun "plot" - though it is worth noting these zombies used tools like shovels and power saws, which is better than any plot I can think of) the answer becomes clear that he's an adult midget creature, for legal reasons. And these are late 70's Italian legal reasons, which I'd assume are pretty loose.

Anywho - here, in youtubey deeplinks linked via the tantalizing screenshots below (because we want to get to the good stuff right meooooooooow) are Peter Bark's best (and only really) screen moments.

Petey wakes up because he knows his momma is bangin' that dude in the next room. (5 secs)

Peter is freakishly scared. (10 secs)

Peter is still scared, though the audience is probably more frightened of him. (10 secs)

Petey can't take the zombie horror anymore he needs...something. (30 secs)

Our plucky man-boy has a huge crotch area and a jaunty trot. (5 secs)

But he's a dumbass and get's zombified. Mamma however doesn't care.
This can't be good, right? Correction this is amazing. (watch until the end)

4 comments:

Murphy said...

Seriously man, WTF? Oedipus meets the undead...

I love when mom says "Go ahead darling, you use to love it so..."

I always new the Itals were insaneo this just reinforces it something tough.

Rick Smith said...

Jess' squeals of displeasure every time Bark appeared on screen was great.


(Alright, I squealed too. Dude was just...wrong.)

Fiend Without A Face said...

'huge crotch area and a jaunty trot.'

And that is why I threw a baseball at my computer monitor.

Beezer said...

"Mama, mama!" (said in a high pitched squeal)

I threw up in my mouth a little on that one.