Friday, January 16, 2009

3D EYESPLOSHUN


I went to go see that thar 3D movie with the pickaxe madman at a special (in that it was a whopping day ahead of release) late night screening. I was stoked to see a 3D horror movie 'cause I missed the whole 3D craze. Which makes me sad. I did see a cut of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" in 3D, but it was way budget and hard to watch as the greeny grey fuzzy print was hard to focus on.


I'm not sure what Valentine's Day has to do with this new movie, besides ripped out human hearts in heart shaped boxes, but it was a good time. It should be called 101 minutes of pickaxes tot he face. If you're into stupid plots and piles of butchered folks, you're probably already in line. The 3D stuff was well done and easy to watch. Body parts chopped up by pick axes, bushes, branches, arms, midgets, and hurled pick axes all jumped from the screen nicely. DEADLY BRANCHES! Plot, not so much. Acting, not so much. A pair of old dudes delivered their lines so comically (one pictured above), it elevated the acting to stellar. They were amazing and i was bummed when they each ate it.


I also figured I'd share the warning label from the glasses I was given. Beware. Sun-lazers straight through your brain. My brain!

Also, it looks like some folks found the poll and I will be having the chicken salad sandwich...

10 comments:

Chris Horse said...

Porn 3D will be the wave of the future.

"MY GOD IT'S COMING RIGHT AT MY FACE!!!"

readwright said...

I think Chris Horse wins best comment of 2009 so far, hands down.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Ah yes. I forgot to mention that there is a long totally nude scene - and not one attempt was made at 3D boobage. So disappointing.

Fiend Without A Face said...

The premise for the orginal made sense, but this one is all fucked up. Now that I am on the west coast, phase two of Enact Shotgun Hollywood Justice can begin.

Also, how rad would it be for the dude in second pic to have been flipping you off (as I thought he was when I initially saw it)?

Chris Horse said...

Stuarts, I will personally equip you on your adventure of revenge in Hollywood. I shall supply my list of screenwriters who should be summarily executed for putting their 'spin' on existing canon.

Casting directors... next in line!

rick smith said...

I see it tomorrow. Hopefully. I am very sad that larger boobs will not be knocking me upside the face...

Scot said...

what is up with old dude's finger? i have not seen some shit like that since Keenan Ivory Wayans portrayed Arsenio Hall.

rick smith said...

Well, I tried to see it tonight. However - SURPRISE!!! - not all theaters show it in 3D. So we got there and I'm thinkin', "Where are all the glasses? Shouldn't there be bins of glasses or something?!?" So we ask someone, and they're like, "No dude, this theater isn't showing it in 3D."

We got our money back and walked out.

F U C K

Ack Ack Ack said...

I thought dude was flying the bird as well. But alas, he simply has huge ass digits.

Sorry your 3D movie trip ended in fail. The theatre is supposed to list if it is or isn't in magical 3-dee-o-vision.

rick smith said...

Yeah. It didn't.