Tuesday, May 26, 2009

IRATE MOVIE MADMAN AHEAD

It all started with some back and forth about a Cobraman from a shitty movie named Dreamscape. It stars the evil gang dude who shot Cyrus in Warriors as a dreammaster-man who invades your shit and performs karate with space nunchucks and turns into a Cobraman that terrifies you. Then Cobraman gets a dream spear through the chest, utters "Daddy?" and dies. Awesome premise, bad execution. I believe the quote was "I was put into the Dreamscape while watching this trash." or something along those lines.

Anywho, the spirit of bad movie Tuesday from the dark, dim past known as "college" has been resurrected on some crazy blog I found. It's run my the mighty Shao Fe Combat Master. He is a Goliath ganger who spent all his skill upgrades on throw, just so that he could hurl you off the ledges and precipices in the nightmare underhives of Necromunda. When Shao Fe is not busy pumping up his Cawdor huckin' gunz, he spends down time at his gang's hideout with unsavory types like Robert Ginty, Harper, Demonfeet Warmonger, Ozzy, Calibus, Captain Delaware, and Animal Mother watching films and then rating them on some beserk 5 star system.


P.S. Shao Fe is not who you think he is, so don't bother with assuming his name is Scot on any comment posts. He insists on being refered to ONLY as Shao Fe Combat Master. Or SFCM for short. Serious.
DO AS SHAO FE COMMANDS!

8 comments:

Chris Horse said...

Holy shit, I must have watched Dreamscape a couple dozen times as a kid.

That movie was pure Ace.

Shao Fe Combat Master said...

you know nothing of dreamscape. you just think you saw it

readwright said...

I was there for many a Bad Movie Tuesday; I always thought Shao Fe was also the acronymed KEAM. Is this not so?

Cohen the Creature said...

"I know what you're afraid of..." and then the spider face of terror from Dennis Quaid. It featured shitty Sully (of Commando fame) glowing ninja nunchaku action and some butterfly knife flippin' if I remember correctly.

Shao Fe Combat Master said...

watch what you say about sully from commando. in dreamscape he watched Enter the Dragon 7 times and that gives him unparalleled martial arts ability.

I do not know this KEAM but would like to fight him. by the name he sounds like some sort of African warrior.

Anonymous said...

I am with hope your new G.I. Joe movie is having a scene with a deposed villain in 'talking snake'-form dictating directions to a blind black marine. I am not offing to soon see it; but am I hoping the script will be fortified with this caliber of snakely goodniss. In my dreams, it is so beautiful.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Oh Anonymous, you've made my day with this comment. The GI Joe film looks like total trash. But, I'd maybe go see it if there was a Cobra Man in there. That would be dope. I also enjoyed your point about the blind black marine.

P.S. Slap in a fun name instead of "Anonymous" next time. It's more fun.

Marsilii said...

Shao Fe urrrrrrrrrrrr ghey, you wish DQ would come into your dream and molest you.