Tuesday, April 21, 2009

BULLDOZER WARRIORS UNITE! FORM OF: AWESOMETRON!

This is old, but it's still viable entertainment. Crazy dude gets pissed at the town mayor and thinks long and hard about the best way to take out his anger issues. Egg the Mayor's house? TP the trees? Blow up an mailbox? Salt his lawn? Kick his dog? Nah, guy builds himself a Road Warrior/Gauntlet worthy death vehicle. It's your basic bulldozer jobby with a pair of 50 cals, closed circuit TV monitors, and concrete reinforced armor. No biggie. Only took a few weeks to build in a secret base outside of town.

The most interesting detail of the entire rampage, is the fact that once the dude fitted the armor top on (using a crane while inside the beast), there was nooooo way for him to take it back off again. He was in it to win it. That's the kinda determination that once made this great country proud. But he wasn't determined enough to see it through to the end. He went out in the fashion that currently makes this great country proud.

Want to jump start the economy? Set up some guidelines, draw up the legal deathrace papers, have 'em sign, and let these crazy bastards loose in an arena and charge 50 bucks an episode. MY MONEY IS READY.

7 comments:

"The Devil" said...

I have often dreamed of doing that on 95! Is that so wrong?

Didn't they make a cheese ball movie called Killdozer!

readwright said...

I remember the movie Tank starring C. Thomas Howell and James Garner, a whimsical take on the whole 'man uses tank to fight authority' scenario. Thankfully all they had to do in that movie was make it across state lines and out of the 'bad' cops evil jurisdiction! Then let the triumphant music play! Too bad this guy didn't think of that.

Dave said...

I'm sure the TV/VCR combo he had in his rig was plain' TANK while he was driving around.

Ty, just when I thought you couldn't post anything stupider, you do this, and TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!

Crazed Cohen said...

Marv for the f'n win. I take my hat off to that crazy bastard.

Scot said...

"It is the brainchild of an angry man."

the greatest quote in all of tabloid news video show history. the greatest after anything said by Officer John Bunnell on the plethora of wildest police videos on Fox.

Ack Ack Ack said...

I'm fairly certain I can do worse Dave. Don't ye worry.

Scot, I had forgotten about Sheriff John Bunnell. He would demand you send videotapes of extreme chases to HIM. Not to a department or vague address. Just to HIM.

"I'm Sheriff John Bunnell. Send your amazing videos to ME, Sheriff John Bunnell."

Jessica said...

Now I can't get this image out of my head of Dick Cheney in a self-fashioned "terrortank" taking down the White House. And probably Congress, too. Since it's, like, right there.