Looking at some olde tyme illos.Found this gem.
Kawwwwwww.
And it appears that I can add pyrex cookware/making tea to the list of things I shouldn't touch/do. (lamps, lawn mowers, etc.) Luckily it melted already callused tissue, so it ended up only baking dead skin a bit further.
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17 comments:
This is why I wear bacon gloves when I cook/make tea/melt shrinky dinks. On a side note, lemon bacon tea is fabulous.
I dream of Kenkus stick-smacking all the Owlbears out there. Damned Owlbears.
Hook me up with some tasty bacon tea please!
they were really scraping the bottom of the creative barrel when they made the platypus of small, four armed, clothed, flightless, useless, and seemingly unintelligent chicken hawks.
Oh snapple, prepare for the backlash. Slander not the Kenku!
D.O.P.E. Dope Outside of Physical Existence. That is all.
You should save the blister skin and make your own Dead Skin Mask for Slayer listenin'...
Anyway, the sad thing is, I am pretty sure Kenku and Owlbears are not just from D&D. I think the Kenku is some sort of Japanese monster like the Kappa, and Owlbears are crazy Native American monsters. Also, didn't Wolverine fight an Owlbear while Forge was tripping balls in some Claremont issue of X-Men?
Although I'm not prone to seeing Jesus in toast, I think your burn kinda looks like Rocket Raccoon without his right ear. Keep trying and maybe you'll get Groot!
Also, what the shit is that in the background? Are you sketching out new LoTR banners or something? On grid paper? NEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRD!
Get out of my house Stu! Stop looking at my stuff when I'm asleep!
I'm in the bushes in your head! /buseytime!
Drinklejuice, your slight of the mental acuity and capabilities of the most noble of avian humanoid species has summoned me from the land of comment apathy.
May Pazuzu take inky dumps upon your porch...
...and praises to the Placemat for preserving the gaming origins of that treasured beast.
And ya Stu, Kenku are based off of the Kurasu Tengu, which are magical, martial, master mutants from Japanese mythology.
The author has been removed by this post. All Hail Post!!
shit man i used to throw dice with kenku all the time. in the back alleys of fuedal japan kenku and i would rip off the masterless samurai, consume massive amounts of sake and just generally rock the house. dont believe, as the rza, he recorded the u-god/kenku split lp, "mega return to the 36 chambers of the master nest of okinawa"
Big baby raptor in the hizzle dizzle!
Kenku can't beatbox.
Also, I have it on good authority that they shit themselves when they get their blood up....eg., "We all stepped back from Kenku Karl's feed station when a throbbing bowel growl bloomed form his effulgent cloaca, a promise of dirty fighting to come."
Though, it's just as hilarious as it is dirty to feed a piece of popcorn at the end of a fishing line to a Kenku and then spin his ass around in circles. Bob Ross used this technique to paint 360ยบ splatter paintings (in his angsty punk years). I think he kept a drawer (below his sock drawer) with maybe a dozen-or-so Kenkus force-fed with different-colored berries to portray his mood at any given time.
It's also cool to cram Kenkus ass-first into tailpipes of cars and watch from a distance as they pop-out at high velocities and scream-warble through traffic. The looks on peoples' faces when a pissed-off Kenku comes scream-warbling at their windshield is worth the driver's insurance increase it will inevitably have on us.
Also, if you take a Kenku's stick away from him, he falls over. My buddy, Xiu Jiang and I used to go Kenku tipping all the time in Outer Mongolia. They do a kind of Curly-Shuffle-pinwheel dance without their beloved sticks.
It's awesome.
Hey, Anonymous, I used to live in Outer Mongolia! I moved last year to Ulanqab to work in a zinc mine. The local McDonald's has McKenku Deluxe sandwiches here! They are very tasty.
Peace!!
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