Tuesday, June 21, 2011

VEGAS. WHY?

Vegas is loud and obnoxious and dumb. Being stuck here an extra pair of days alone is only cementing my dislike for this hole. Staring at a fake Statue of Liberty isn't helping. Or the pool closing at 5. Or the inability to find edible food for under 30 bucks. Ugh. I'll admit some affinity for the downtown old Vegas stuff, with the crazy lights and stuff. But the strip is just, yeech. So, here's just a few snapshots of the reasons why this place sucks so badly.

I dunno, sure.

Sluts love them some Eiffel Tower shaped drinks. Comes in three flavors!

Hunter S Thompson wouldn't need drugs to freak out nowadays.
Shit like this is everywhere.

Bang trucks are everywhere.

Crummy Transformers.

Nightmare clowns with balloons.

MJ and Robot MJ.

Topiary shaped like motorcycles.

Yup.

For after a hard day of slots tournaments.

Rug horror after horror. The tacky design levels are set to kill.

More yuck.

This entire sign is offensive.

Fuck.

Getting dizzy now.

Maniacal slots? Check.

Vampires? Yeah.

I slipped into another dimension for a moment here.

Spelling?

I love gold.

320,000 credits of Romance.


Cherries with pants.

You can't keeps cats out of anything. Same goes for glitter.

9 comments:

Rick Smith said...

Is that a hooker with MJ?

Fun Dungeon says it all.

Anonymous said...

I've always been meaning to ask you, does Ack Ack Ack come from "One Crazy Summer" or was it just what came out of your brain when asked for a username? Granted, in "One Crazy summer" his name is just Ack Ack, and I can practically hear you slamming the keys and saying "Ack Ack Ack" out of nowhere due to the bother of having to come up with some signature. I used to want to have twin boys and name them Ack Ack and Egg. My step-mom nearly had a heart attack when I told her and she realised I wasn't being ironic.

Anonymous said...

The above "anonymous" was me, Aimee. Slayer Placemat keeps doing that to me.

Ack Ack Ack said...

Placemat means no harm. The other Anonymous has the same issue and refuses to fix it. Not sure why the comment problem persists.

But to answer your question: No. I think I explained the Acks somewhere in the comments before. I'll send an email with the particulars.

One Crazy Summer is however a staple/foundation of my overall make up.

Goat said...

I prefer the term "Fungeon" myself.

I will freely admit that I love Vegas. I have a higher tolerance than most for tacky, in an oddly appreciative way. But most of what you're presenting here tends to fall outside my "appreciation sphere" as it were.

Goat said...

Also, had it not been for Vegas, I never would have met Jon Lovitz, so there's always one in the plus column in my book.

Anonymous said...

Jon Lovitz probably feels the same way and for reciprocal reasons. I bet he's there right now, selling 'Goat' action figures.

"Psst, Lovitz...got anything a little more...inflatable? I'm feeling kinda Goatingly."

I also prefer the term "Fungeon." But it's too close to the onion-flavored corn snack -- a snack that I believe is a portal to the Tall Man's red planet of zombie slave dwarves. Either that, or it's an alternate name for 'athlete's foot.'

'Beware Creeping Fungeon, Wear Thongs In Shower.'

Rick Smith said...

You cited the Tall Man. Thank you.

Baraccas said...

Was Bumble Bee hitting up gang signs?