ROBOT KID EATS DELICIOUS STEAK, LOSES

Do robots dream? After a fine meal of steak and potatoes and booze Ricky was feeling awfully full. Major bloat was setting in as the mounds of meat within began to cloud his vision. When threatened with a fork, normally a sure fire fear trigger, he seemed unable to defend himself. Disoriented, we manged to guide him to the hotel and a couch.

As you can see, the meats have won.

CORSPE CLEANUP AT TABLE THREE

This poor gamer tried to extended his life via 14 gallons of Mountain Dew mixed with Atomic Warhead candies in order to make it through the grueling 539 levels of the legendary dungeon tower of perilous stairways. He perished though. Somewhere around the 278th level the DM noted he wasn't breathing in his standard mouth breather wheezy wheeze - but curiously most die rolls were still being made as part of a powerful natural reflex which the body would not forget in death. It's sad, because as you can see, he used his final reserves of energy to try and call in a Red Bull and donut delivery. Nearly made it, but the phone got caught in the velcro holster. With nothing left and gangrene setting in, it was the end of the road for this dude. Epic. Fail.