CORSPE CLEANUP AT TABLE THREE

This poor gamer tried to extended his life via 14 gallons of Mountain Dew mixed with Atomic Warhead candies in order to make it through the grueling 539 levels of the legendary dungeon tower of perilous stairways. He perished though. Somewhere around the 278th level the DM noted he wasn't breathing in his standard mouth breather wheezy wheeze - but curiously most die rolls were still being made as part of a powerful natural reflex which the body would not forget in death. It's sad, because as you can see, he used his final reserves of energy to try and call in a Red Bull and donut delivery. Nearly made it, but the phone got caught in the velcro holster. With nothing left and gangrene setting in, it was the end of the road for this dude. Epic. Fail.