I DEMAND OWNERSHIP OF D&D JUNK

If you wish to make me a bargain for my soul or simply want to see me jump up and down with glee, please find the above pictured items and put them in my grabby hand. The AD&D, sure to be toxic, plastic super wallet and the most bodacious Warduke pencil sharpener ever (probably the only one) are what I desire. The bewildered DMs at Gencon would have no choice but to accept my Brownie Archlich character, such is the power these items would wield over nerdkind.