Thursday, February 17, 2011

I'M CONFUSED, IS THIS A GOOD THING? or IT REALLY TAKES 7 WEEKS TO KNOW IF IT'S BEEN BLOWN UP?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's like the butterfly effect...blow-up your penis now and in 7 weeks a butterfly will sneeze in Galapagos.

"Oh, honey....take a picture, quick...that butterfly is sneezing...oh my gawd!...they're all sneezing!!!"

-OOoooh, Good catch, Sweetums...I'm guessing that was Dongblow's™ release of their new penis pump a few weeks back. Must be great! Can't wait to get back home and coxplode my junk...unless junior has already used it. I swear, if that kid is messing with my VHS-collection, I'm sending him to Delaware. Maybe the cruise has a Dongblow™. I hope it's the Mighty Wallop™ or the Ding-a-Donga™ (with included doorbell-soundscapes for aural relaxation). But, I'd settle for a Duck Blimp™ or even a Rod Job™ (with extra purchase of throwing hat for cutting vegetables and beer cans in half).

Oh, honey, Aren't the butterfly sneezes beautiful? Remember our wedding? Do you think we should...you know...?

Yes. Yes, I do. Set-up the camera. I'll get started.

Chris Horse said...

Given the second law of thermodynamics, the energy that is used to make one's penis magically grow larger must be pulled from somewhere else.

Mass engorgement of the male population could very well extinguish our sun.

Female satisfaction will be the doom of us all.

Anonymous said...

When Orko was brought to Eternia via cosmic wind, he brought with him the power to levitate.

Our own sciencers reverse-engineered this seemingly magical ability and manifested it in the most socially responsible manner.

I believe it is this power of levitation, channeled from Orko's home planet, Trolla, that enabled our sciencers to embiggen the penis-wenis.

If you ever hear Orko's disappearing/reappearing sound while you're out and about...you know that the 2nd law of thermodynamics has been violated in favor of penis-biggis somewhere near you.

It's eerie to be in a Jersey rest stop bathroom and hear that sound coming from one of the stalls. Strangely, I think I heard this sound during Sec. Hillary Clinton's press conference the other day.

Of course, echos of this sound can still be heard from the great cataclysm of the 4th and final volcanic tertiary quadrant when the land mass we know as North America developed what we now sadly call Florida. At that time, 'Florida' pointed towards Iceland. It has since lost mass as well as the will to live...like Luke and Leia's mother, the cold white pudding woman. etc...